Blogger, Youtuber and author Lily Pebbles joins us on the latest In The Moment Magazine podcast to talk about the highs and lows of female friendship and her new book, The F Word.
Lily was inspired to write the book because her female friendships have always been such an important part of her life. “It’s a subject I’ve always felt passionate about,” she says. “I kept a diary from the age of 10-16 and whenever I read it back it’s so hilarious. I thought a book would be the perfect place to write about this.
“It’s always been a topic that’s been underlying in my content and my viewers have always commented saying: ‘I love your female friends and the friendships you have with other women.’ I’ve never been able to go into much detail about it, so a book felt like the perfect place to do that.”
Why our female friendships are so important
Lily says she wants to get people talking about female friendships more and to show how much she values her friendships. “At the beginning of the book I talk about my experiences of female friendship and set the scene of why it’s so important to me.” She also interviewed lots of different women to gather their experiences. “It’s a celebration of female friendship.”
Her book breaks friendships down into different groups – the ‘sister friend’ or the ‘sensitive friend’ – and talks about the benefits of having a mixed friendship group. “The realist friend is definitely me. I’m the one who gives my honest opinion – I don’t know how to lie. If someone asks me what I think of something I’m going to tell them exactly what I think!”
“A fallout with a friend or ending a relationship with a friend can be equally as heartbreaking as with a partner. It’s something we don’t think about because it doesn’t have that label. We can’t get married or divorced, but it can be just as bad.”
How to make new friends
“With social media, it’s opened up a whole new way of meeting friends. Back in the day, you were limited to people you went to school with or lived near. But now, we’re open to so many amazing women.
“I’ve made loads of friends online,” says Lily. “It’s just about turning those little interactions online into real life friends and maybe going on a ‘friend date’. I share my tips for going on a friend date in the book as well.”
When she gets to the point where she feels she knows someone online quite well, Lily will ask if they want to meet up. “Then you go on a friend date,” she says. “It’s no different to a romantic date – it’s terrifying!” It’s about taking a risk and getting to know someone who might be a great friend.
You can follow Lily on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or subscribe on YouTube. The F Word: A Personal Exploration of Modern Female Friendship by Lily Pebbles is published by Hodder & Stoughton, priced £16.99.
Photography by Lydia Collins.